Peter, I FINALLY got around to reading! I am sorry for the delay. As I mentioned--I will offer some detailed feedback! If you would like to talk about my feedback or get more, I am happy to discuss over email!
The story itself--it’s fun. I like how you built the story, laid the groundwork and gradually expanded it. You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into the world! I was overwhelmed by the unusual place names and people names early on but eventually I caught on and learned the language and it mellowed out. Do the names have meanings?
Structure wise--I have to admit, this was a LONG read. Normally thats not an issue but my attention span strained midway through chapter 4. That tells you more about me than you, take that as a data point for your consideration.
I think putting the chapter titles in was a hard break--I think putting a smaller header or a line divider would have helped, just because it felt like 5 chapters that werent designed to be together had been put together. When you have a long read like this, some effort needs to be put into trying to make it seamless or at least flow together. Thats the main determinant, in my mind, for how long a post should be. Everything that flows together can be together, and when you have to have a hard divide, a shift of some kind, move that to a new chapter.
Overall, youve got a clever world here and I enjoyed the descriptions and im looking forward to learning more about this world! I hope this feedback is helpful to you!
Peter, I FINALLY got around to reading! I am sorry for the delay. As I mentioned--I will offer some detailed feedback! If you would like to talk about my feedback or get more, I am happy to discuss over email!
The story itself--it’s fun. I like how you built the story, laid the groundwork and gradually expanded it. You’ve clearly put a lot of thought into the world! I was overwhelmed by the unusual place names and people names early on but eventually I caught on and learned the language and it mellowed out. Do the names have meanings?
Structure wise--I have to admit, this was a LONG read. Normally thats not an issue but my attention span strained midway through chapter 4. That tells you more about me than you, take that as a data point for your consideration.
I think putting the chapter titles in was a hard break--I think putting a smaller header or a line divider would have helped, just because it felt like 5 chapters that werent designed to be together had been put together. When you have a long read like this, some effort needs to be put into trying to make it seamless or at least flow together. Thats the main determinant, in my mind, for how long a post should be. Everything that flows together can be together, and when you have to have a hard divide, a shift of some kind, move that to a new chapter.
Overall, youve got a clever world here and I enjoyed the descriptions and im looking forward to learning more about this world! I hope this feedback is helpful to you!